Dealing with Failure

What is failure? Failure simply mean screwing up or making mistakes that fall far from certain standard (For perfectionist, the standard can be very high). It can be a small failure, it can be gigantic failure. Inevitably, sooner or latter, we all will encounter failure in life. However, most of the time, we life as if we cannot and should not experience failure at all. I believe attempt nothing, and there will be less failure cannot be a good advice because as we attempt to do nothing, the failure also will soon come automatically. No wonder, people afraid of failure so badly. Doing nothing or doing something, both, can lead someone to encounter failure. The fear of failure is understandable, since failure hurt, failure strongly could condemn us harshly. Even in our daily lives, telling or being open to our failure to others is seems so difficult in our so called, guilt and shame culture.  

Nonetheless, there are several things that we need to aware and remember so we can deal with failure better or at least, we can have a better perspectives on the way we see failure. 

First, Failure does not always lead to more failure. 

The natural tendency of people who experience failure is to think that failure will lead to a greater failure. That's idea is not true. Our failure can be a good lesson for us and others so that so, we are better in handling the similar downfall. In the book entitled, The life of Washington, the young Washington chopped down a random cherry tree just to try his axes. Well this is a failure of cultivating nature and an act of random deforestation however, through this story and his honesty of his failure, it can still bring third lessons to future generation. First, honesty, as he says "I cannot tell a lie." Second, we should not randomly cut trees. Third, failure does not always lead to more failure since we know, the older Washington did not commit the same mistake. David Gravin right in saying, "failure is the ultimate teacher." Those who are succeed are those who have experiencing countless failures in lives.  

Second, Failure does not define our identity. 

One of the greatest reason why people afraid of failure is that failure define our identity. If we fail in math test, people will call us as stupid. If we fail in our business, people will call us as careless, if we fail in our relationship, people will call us as irresponsible. The lists can go on and on. Nonetheless, failure is only a small event in life. A small dot in our life, perhaps. Event can come and go thus, failure does not define us as total failure but only tell us that we are only human. Probably we are so stressed because of people love to speak and talking about others failure. That's how our society works. They compare, they judge and then they label. However, God does not sees us as others do. Our failure cannot change our status as His beloved children. People can only see things superficially but God can see us deeply, deep down to the deepest. So, which voice we would love to listen to, God or man? 

Third, Failure is not the final. 

last but not least, we ought to remember that failure is not the final. That's the basic thing that we need to keep in mine when we encounter one. In our Sacred Scripture we can see how Peter experienced many failures as Following (The lists of failure are borrowed from Ben Godwin Article):

He sank when he took his eyes off Jesus—Matt. 14:29-30.

He verbally rebuked Jesus (not a good idea)—Matt. 16:22-23.

He wrongly compared Jesus with mere mortal men—Matt. 17:1-5.

He refused (at first) for Jesus to wash his feet—John 13:8.

He slept through prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane—Matt. 26:40-43.

He tried to defend Jesus and cut off Malchus' ear—John 18:10.

He denied any association with Jesus three times—John 18:25-27.

He quit the ministry and returned to fishing—John 21:3.

However, we all know these failure is not the final. "It is a temporary detour not the end street", says Godwin. By the grace of God, Peter was transformed and being used by God regardless His failure to be a great apostle and church leader in New Testament era. Even the impact-full Gospel of Mark that has been said to be a recording of Peter's speech, teaching, and retelling of the Gospel narrative (Eusebius in his famous book Ecclesiastical History quoted Papias (c 70-150) who said that Mark record/was the interpreter of  Peter's Speech). Catholic also sees Peter as the first Pope, which mean He was a respectable church leader in Rome in his time. Moreover, he also the evangelist that arguably who fist preach to the gentiles. 

Once again, we can conclude that failure is never final. The only true Failure happens if we choose to stay long and let the emotion and condemnation of failure paralyzed and overwhelmed us, rather than getting up, and keep on moving Indeed, Failure is only temporary. As Christian, we should set our mind in the light of eternity. Yes we are encountering failures daily but we should believe, God have an eternal plan for us to be accomplished now and then, and failures only a stepping stone for a greater life ahead that God has prepared for us, for His own Glory. We should not be so allergic to failure for our failure can remind us to the very need for God's grace, strength and Wisdom. That is why, it is not unreasonable to say that failure is the magnificent doorway to a total dependency and honest realization of our hopelessness!